Diary of a Fat Man

I just read the whole thing...

 

THAT's FUCKED UP!

 

mt

 

 

 

 

I would shave the rectangle off center just to piss him off.  ;P

 

He can't possibly be serious!  (tiny frightened voice: "or can he??")

 

See, the problem here is the man doesn't sanction any punishments.  One is forced to wonder, what exactly would happen were she to not perform said contractual acts?  She'd lose a GBD?  Oooooo...scary!  I'd tell him to take his GBD and shove it up the hole hidden by his BVD's.  There are no threats of divorce or malice for not adhering to the rules.  So eff him, let him be miserable.  And I'll take as damn many GBD's as I please you wicked bastard!

 

 

Sounds like the 'darling' wants to be in a S&M relationship. He definitely sounds like he's trying to pull off the role as a "master". The wife should've just come home one night, tied him down to the bed, maybe even gag him and then just started whipping the he** out of him and tell him who the "master" really is. LOL Then perhaps shave him completely while embracing the life without her own razor, hehehe!

 

~Fat Chick

LOL I just call it as I see it.

I don't know. There were some dirtbags at the bar last night talking about how nice it is that women (presumably strippers who give hand jobs for money, since the conversation revolved around drinking and lascivious behavior) a generation younger than they are much more eager and proficient in matters of sexual servitude.

 

I hadn't had to listen to that kind of shite in a while.

 

Fat chick's astute observation aside, consider that his demands are not that inconsistent with those of traditional marriage contracts. And if you strip away the exacting details, the GBD's and the wording, this really sounds like a lot of relationships that I have been in. Upon final analysis, I find that the essence of what he from her is more disturbing than the details, and hauntingly familiar. And one of the reasons that I'll always be single.

 

~just another misandrist, unsolicited comment from a hairy neighbor

 

 

 

 

 

 

The most disturbing thing to me WAS the fact that it was so exacting...how the fuck did he come up with some of that shit?

 

I've never been in a relationship that is that one sided.  Laurie may occassionally bitch that I don't do enough around the house, but that's really not the case anymore.  Sure, I avoid washing clothes like the plague and intentionally sabotage he clothes when she forces me to wash them, but since she's been back to work, things are pretty evenly split.  And maybe a little skewed towards MY end now as well.

 

I'll totally fess up to the fact things weren't equal prior to her return to work.  From Oct 2000 until whenever she went back full time last year, she was a stay at home mom.  I worked 8 hours a day (and for a while after the lay off 10-12 hrs a day) AND went to school at night to finish my bachelor's.  I shouldn't have to come home at night after work and school and have to vacuum the fucking living room or fold laundry or clean a counter.  That was the trade off when we agreed that she would stay home...

 

I wouldn't want to be in a marriage that is that one-sided.  If I wanted to marry a robot with a pussy (freshly shaved with a symetrical, rectangular patch even), I would have invented one myself.

 

That said, I WOULD like to modify my answer to "Love, honor, and cherish as long as we both shall live, AND you give piece of ass more than one a week, so help me God..."

Damn, I forgot to give Heather props for busting out "misandrist"...niiiccceee.  I like to think I have a pretty sizeable vocabulary, but you made me hit the dictionary on that one.  I had the gist of it based on the linguistic affixes, but just wanted to confirm my gut feeling.  Big ups, hairy neighbor.

thanks