I guess this week sucked for weight loss. I posted the smallest loss yet (1lb). Hmm, I wondering if I’m starting to plateau? I guess I’ll find out when I weigh in next week.
I must have been tired last night, because I fell asleep before 11 (which almost never happens), while trying to watch Good Eats. I slept like a rock and didn’t wake up until the alarm went off this morning at 6:10 (and again at 6:20, 6:30, and 6:40—thank you “snooze” inventor!).
My enchiladas are awesome. I didn’t realize how hot the jalapeños were, so I didn’t leave out the seeds, so as a result they are super hot (but I like them). They are relatively healthy (compared to regular enchiladas), but you can only eat two of them if you want to keep things in moderation. Based on my calculations, they are 6 points for two (about 300 calories and about 6 or 8 grams of fat—I don’t have my calculations in front of me, so I’m having to recall what it was from memory). If you want to try them yourselves, here’s the recipe:
The Official Eclipse Enchiladas
12 Corn Tortillas
2 Cups Shredded 2% Low Fat Cheddar Cheese
1 Medium Red Onion (diced)
2 Large Jalapeño Peppers (seeded if you’re a pussy, leave ‘em in if you’re not)
1 Large Green Bell Pepper (seeded and finely chopped)
1 Large bag of fresh spinach (12oz)
2 Medium Portabella Mushroom Caps
1 Cup Cilantro (finely chopped)
2 10oz cans Red Enchilada Sauce (Old El Paso is the best)
1 Tbsp Ground Cumin
2 Tbsp Ground Chili Powder
Kosher Salt (to taste)
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees
Place your jalapeño peppers on two stainless steel skewers and roast them over an open flame until they are decently charred. I have a gas stove, so this is easy for me. If you don’t have a gas stove, you can be white trash and do it with a candle or a lighter. After sufficient charrage has occurred, set them aside to cool and then slice and dice them until finely diced.
If you bought your spinach pre-washed in the bag, in some cases you can just toss the whole unopened bag in the microwave for 3-4 minutes to cook. If the bag tells you not to cook them this way (fucking cowards), heat a large skillet on high and toss in the spinach, letting it wilt for a few minutes. Your large pile of spinach should now be a small handful of wilted, pathetic looking leaves. Set this pile to the side to cool. Once cooled, squeeze them like you wish you could squeeze the neck of your spouse, until all of the life (sorry, WATER) has been drained from the useless shell of matter and then attack it with a large butcher knife, chopping and hacking it until small pieces.
If you’re a true gourmand, you’ll know that you are supposed to just brush away any dirt from the mushroom to clean it. If you’re a true gourmand, you never, EVER wash a mushroom. If you’re a true gourmand, you probably have parasites chewing their way through your bloated, stinking colon! I wash mushrooms…I don’t care if it adds water to them. They grow them in dirt and bat shit. I don’t think you can just brush shit off of food. Anywho; clean your mushrooms however you want (you dirty, filthy Frenchman), and then chop them finely.
Now that everything is chopped, heat a large skillet on high and drop in a tablespoon of olive oil, just enough to coat the bottom of the pan. Sauté the onions, bell pepper, and mushrooms. The mushrooms will start pumping out liquid like ***simile deleted due to grossness of comparison between food and anything porn related***, so cook this mix until all of the liquid is gone. Toss this into a large mixing bowl.
Into the mass of mushroom magnificence, add the cilantro, jalapeños, the cumin (hehehe, cumin), chili powder, and salt. Take a taste. You like it, don’t you? I knew you would, you dirty whore. Pour in about 2/3rds of a can of the enchilada sauce, a cup of the cheese, and stir well. It looks horrible, but don’t worry. Some of the best things in life are ugly, at least that’s what my mom used to tell me. Set this mixture aside for the moment.
Take a large skillet over high heat and add about an inch of olive oil. Let it get good and hot by lovingly stroking the long, rigid handle of the pan. Whisper to it, caress it, love it. Once the oil is hot, fry the tortillas one at a time. Leave ‘em in the oil for about 7 seconds per side. Set them aside on a few paper towels to soak up an excess oil. Think of the paper towels like giant strydex pads. You would, wouldn’t you—sick fuck. Repeat for the remaining eleven tortillas.
Now you’re ready to rock. Fill your tortilla with a heaping spoonful of the filling and roll it tight. Having flashbacks to rolling big, fat blunts yet? Arrange in a large casserole dish. Repeat eleven times and hope that you estimated the filling amount right; otherwise you’ll be shot in the head and let me be honest; no one wants an enchilada filled with your aerosolized brain matter
Pour the remaining enchilada sauce over the enchiladas, and top with the remaining cheese.
Bake in the over for about 15-20 minutes. Or you can forget all about them like I did and keep them in for 30 minutes. Whatever works for you.
I’ll make one recommendation: enchiladas always taste better the day after they are made. Make this ahead of time and reheat in the oven (or microwave if you are lazy) when you want to eat.