Diary of a Fat Man

After taking a few days off due to feeling like crap (and because of the rain every night), I hit the park last night and tried to run two miles.  I thought I was going to DIE>DIE>DIE.  It was better than my last abortive attempt, but I couldn’t get past a half a mile before resorting to a walk.  I was getting cramps in my chest and side and was having a hard time controlling my breathing.  I jogged the first seven minutes (a little over ½ mile) and the last 5 minutes (about ½ mile) and walked the bulk of the rest.  I DID try something new that I had been reading about in some fitness magazines (and no; it wasn’t shaving all my body hair).  I sprinted as fast as I could for 30 seconds and then walked for about 3-5 minutes, sprinted for another 30 seconds and then walked, etc.  I did three intervals of that.  It was tough, but surprisingly easier than trying to jog for a longer period of time.

In theory, you get as much out of the sprints as you would with a longer session of jogging and walking.  All I got out of it was weird looks from the other folks in the park.  They must have thought I snatched someone’s radio since my earbuds popped out 10 seconds in and I was dragging them along behind me (fucking crappy Korean engineering).

I also tried ANOTHER tip I got from Men’s Fitness magazine (and no, not how apply shrink your 'nads by using the juice).  Although using milk jugs full of water was NOT the weight the dude in the ‘zine was using, it worked for me.  Basically, you take a dumbbell in each hand.  Keep one of them parallel to the floor at shoulder height.  Raise the other from your leg to the same position, lower it by about 25% of the way to the floor, raise it back up to shoulder height, and then lower it back to your leg.  Repeat that cycle 9 more times and you have one set.  Rest about 3 minutes and then switch arms.  Supposedly, you can add 1+ inches to your deltoids (shoulders) in a month by doing this twice a week.  It's harder than you think, even just using 8lbs (which is about how much a jug o' water weighs.

It's lunchtime now...I need to go feed the machine.  Peace out, beeyotches.