Big Brother 8
7/6/2007 4:24:54 PM
Yippee!
Big Brother is finally drawing me out of my self-imposed blogging exile. I've also become addicted to another reality show (So You Think You Can Dance), but I haven't had a chance to blog about it. That is going to be the second of my planned posts this weekend.
OK. This will just be a quick rundown of the new contestants and my initial opinions of them.
Firstly, what's up with Julie Chen? She needs an eggroll infusion, stat. It looks like she should have changed her name to Julie Ritchie.She was wearing a very cool looking necklace (not shown in this pic) and Laurie said it was probably a bracelet.
1 Point for Mrs. Fatman.
The first contestant on my hitlist is Amber.
As you can see, she's a cocktail waitress in Vegas, which means she's not hot enough to be a feature dancer at Olympia Gardens, so she hands out mojitos and handjobs. She's also a single mom who cares about her daughter more than anything in the world. Hmm, if you loved your kid, wouldn't you be at home?
As you can see, she's a cocktail waitress in Vegas, which means she's not hot enough to be a feature dancer at Olympia Gardens, so she hands out mojitos and handjobs. She's also a single mom who cares about her daughter more than anything in the world. Hmm, if you loved your kid, wouldn't you be at home?
Carol looked MUCH hotter on the "Big Brother After Dark" live feed on Showtime Too. She's primo, Corn Belt poontang my friends. 
One of the other contestants pointed out that Daniele looks like Anna Nichole. She laughed it off and said "before the weight loss or after the weight loss". Heehee. She meant you look like her NOW...rotting and putrid. She's one of the victims of the "secret enemy" spin this year, her dad.
Meet Daniele's dad, Dick. Dick says to call him Evil Dick. He's 44, works at a bar, has an eyebrow piercing. Dick totally lucked out by being named Dick, because it saves us all the trouble. If he had Pam Anderson hanging off of his cock like a pilot fish, he'd be Tommy Lee.
Dustin is also one of the "secret enemy" contestants. His ex-boyfriend is also in the house. Dustin seems to be the sane one.
Eric is "America's Contestant". Say what? This messuganah? Oy! Laurie pointed out that he cusses almost as much as me on the live feed. Every THIRD word he says is fuck. Fucking tool.
Jameka is the token contestant of the house. "I ain't never been around this many white folk." is pretty much a word for word transcription of her first confessional entry. Good luck with that, sugah chile.
Jen is a "fun" nanny. I think "fun" nanny means that she'll fuck you when your wife is gone...if you have enough money.
Jessica is the last of the "secret" enemies. Not much to say about her yet.
Joe is the other gay dude in the house (only two?? you're kidding). He needs to keep his shirt on, because he has nasty Disney Cartoon Tarzan nipples.
Kail keeps saying that she's a "multi-business" owner and that "half the town" works for her. She seems a bit cunty. I'm guessing she's gone soon. To steal a line from an email I sent to Sir Cumference, the town will be after her with pitchforks when she gets back to Cooterville.
Mike looks like Andy Samberg's goofy, ugly brother. That's like goofy, ugly cubed, bitch.
Nick is a former "pro" football player. Is that like AMERICAN football or that faggy "world" football (known as soccer to use good Americans). I'm guessing arena football or something.
Holy shit, looks like someone didn't have approval on his publicity stills. Say hello to Gomer Pyle, America.
Comments
MissMerrySunshine1 - 7/9/2007 11:42:58 AM
Awesome!!!!!!!! I forgot that I like this show...caught the end of it last night when the bitches were weepy cause they were nominated. Cooterville, snort.
Anyhoo, I totally love SYTYCD. My husband thinks I am a deuce (sorry watched too much Wimbleton) because I abbreviate but, whatever he only wishes he could pop lock like that chick! Ok, so I'm really bad with names but, she is my fav. And I like that guy with the freaky hair from England. Wednesdays make me very excited now because they also moved Rescue Me to Wed. nights at 10!
Lola Notashowgirl - 7/8/2007 10:19:04 PM