Diary of a Fat Man

Word up.

How was everyone's Thanksgiving?  Mine was suck ass, at best.  Decent food, shitty company, shitty time.  Most Thanksgivings are languid affairs that involve eating lethal amounts of food, dozing fitfully while the Cowboy's game is playing, then topping off the distended belly with even MORE food, then a race home to be the first one to get to the bathroom.

This year, we spent a total of two hours over at my sister-in-law's house.  She's now "dating" her high school sweetheart again, now that she's dropped over 150lbs and another 230lbs of dolt (my ex-brother in law).  Things have been weird between her and everyone now that "she's always up Patrick's ass", as so eloquently put by my crazy as fuck mother in law.

Right now, I'm just chilling at my desk sippin' on gin and juice (I'm laid back, but I've got my mind on my money and my money on my mind).  Actually it's not gin and juice, but gin and tonic with a splash of lime.  Good shit.  Nice and strong like a college fullback, but goes down easy like the slutty cheerleader that's fucking and sucking her way through the third string defensive lineup.

I've spent the last week doing my civic duty as a juror (make sure you pronounce it correctly--jur-RAWR, like Puerto Rican tiger that is roaring).   Five fucking days listening to testimony about a real estate deal.  However, I've got to say it was pretty interesting and thankfully the time went by pretty quickly.  But, I'm going to be SOOOO fucked when I get back to work.  I haven't been to work since the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and I'm going to have so much crap piled up that I'll need a plunger to make my way to my desk.

I'm also getting really stoked about my upcoming extended weekend trip to Winter Park Colorado.  We're splitting on 12/13 and coming back on the 17th, unfortunately we're driving.  We're staying at the YMCA Snow Mountain Resort, which although it sounds like a dump from the name, is apparently a really nice, 5200 acre ranch.  We're getting a kick ass deal (two nights at the lodge, five meals, and all the activities for only $160) and then we're adding another night outside of the family weekend special (another $100).  We've never taken a winter vacation, so we're pretty excited.  If things work out well, we may take a week (or more) next Christmas and get a cabin.

I don't have much to add.  I'm still a fat mother fucker (literally, but not my own).  I'm now totally off the demon-bred meds that help me gain 50+ pounds, but I haven't made much effort get my weight down.  Stupid food...why must you tempt me so?  I'm considering relaunching my ill fated "punishment diet".  Do you think tasing my balls would be a good deterrent to the succulent Spinach and Bacon soufflés at Panera?

Mmmm,  Panera.