As you can tell, my high falutin' plans of the post-o-rama have fallen by the wayside. Yes, I am still alive. Yes, in fact, I am prospering like the aging stripper who'll give you a little handy under the table with your lapdance to keep things competitive with the youngsters. There have been some ups and downs, my friends.
Over the past four months I've (in no particular order--I've jumbled them to keep you on your toes--and some already covered):
- changed jobs (you know) with a sizable raise
- gone to three concerts (one punk, one country, one alternative)
- blown through thousands of dollars like a baller in a strip club
- had my dick sliced open
- traveled enough already to qualify for a free flight and Gold membership in the ICH rewards club
- came the closest to becoming divorced EVER
- eaten my way across Louisiana
- eaten 8 pounds of crawfish
- become addicted to Rock of Love II
- then bought Rock of Love on DVD and watched over the course of a week
- been sued
- abruptly ended my four year friendship with TGWSNTMAW
- joyously celebrated the return of TV shows!
- watched a couple in their late 50's practically fucking in not just one, but TWO airports
- became tasked with the chore of having to shove a plastic spike into my cock on a nightly basis (and not just for fun, beeyotch)
- became cuckoo for cocoa puffs
- still can't stop fucking eating, even though I'm off the Elavil
- bought a new A/C for the house
- had a 102 degree fever for almost a week due to a urinary tract infection that wasn't being killed because my doctor gave me the wrong antibiotic
- had to cancel the new fence due to being sued
- oh, had to cancel the vacation too--fucktards
- went camping three times
- written fewer blog entries than I used to in a fucking day back in ought-five
- had a tranny make me a delicious sandwich
- vomited a dozen times--doesn't sound too impressive until you know that that was just on Tuesday
- ate lunch at a REALLY horrible Chinese buffet by the airport in New Orleans on Monday
- saw a chick fuck a snowman on the Internet
- have read 32 books
Ha! That's like those fucked up montage scenes that you get to advertise the upcoming season of a new show. OMG, Jack's fucking Kate on the stairs of a nice house? Why's Charlie underwater? Ben is from Iraq?
You may or may not get your questioned answered in the near future.
Bwahahaha.
mtcutie - 5/2/2008 12:47:32 AM